America’s UnFantastic Four

How the hell, in a nation of 320 million, did we end up with these four anti-superhero losers as the last ones standing in the 2016 election contest?









Bernie “Human Torch” Sanders, a man so useless he was kicked out of a hippy commune for being too lazy; now making sure that the he never actually belonged to feels the Bern – or Berns to the ground.

Donald “The Thing” Trump, a businessman so astute that had he merely invested in stock market what he inherited from his old man in the 1970s he would actually be now worth more than he is. That’s not very successful. What a loser.

Hillary “The Invisible Woman” Clinton, a woman, did you know that? More self-made and more successful at building wealth than Donald, even if most of it did come from selling access to government. And she is a woman.

Gary “Mr Fantastic” Johnson, the Libertarian candidate who doesn’t know if the United States was right to enter the Second World War.

Dear America, really?