The Daily Outrage


You know what, Labor? Screw you.

Here I was complaining on Facebook earlier that I can’t seem to get outraged by anything today. Then I went shopping and on the way back I emptied my letterbox. In addition to a letter from the Institute of Public Affairs thanking me for my donation (sorry guys, there’s only so much I can spare in my current temporarily semi-retired condition) I picked up a flier from the Labor Party.

I still can’t say that I’m outraged, because by now I’m sadly all too accustomed to its message. Which is: Cuuuuuutsssss! Cuuuuuutsssss! We can’t have cuuuuuutsssss!














And on the reverse the rousing call to arms. “I need your support to make sure we don’t suffer again with Mr Turnbull’s cuts.”














You know who will suffer without Mr Turnbull’s cuts, as meagre as they are in the greater scheme of things? May, Alice and Penny.

You believe that the government should be a veritable horn of plenty, overflowing with endless bounty for everyone? Then have the courage to argue for higher taxes to pay for it. I won’t agree with you, but I will at least respect you. Well, respect might be too strong a word, but I will at least grudgingly acknowledge your consistency.

What Labor champions instead is the gutless course of action. Not enough taxpayers’ money to pay for all that endless bounty? Hey, no problem; we’ll just borrow some. Raising taxes is politically risky; getting into debt is painless – it’s somebody else’s problem. May’s, Alice’s and Penny’s, to be exact. We’re going to have a good life now, and somebody else will pay for it. Somebody else, in the future, will have to either pay off that debt we’re accumulating today, or at the very least keep on paying the interest on that debt – either way, at the expense of their own services. It’s an intergenerational robbery. You’re not even robbing Peter to pay Paul, you’re robbing Peter’s children and grandchildren.

If you were to buy yourself a nice overseas holiday or a new car, and then send the bill to your kids, including your yet unborn kids, you would quite rightly be considered a c***. But when the government does it, it is being generous and compassionate.

You don’t like cuts? Then make sure your government services are fully funded, and be fully funded I don’t mean a goddamned credit card.

“Won’t somebody please think of the children?” has now become a cliche. The problem is that no one actually thinks of the children. At the very least stop using them as human shields to deflect criticism, while all you’re actually doing is preparing to screw them over in an act of low, dastardly fiscal child abuse. Have some guts and some integrity, Labor.