Did you know that Paris Hilton is still alive?

I didn’t either. I thought that Kim Kardashian used her as a butt implant, but clearly not. Apparently she now spends time DJ-ing on Ibiza and being worried about falling victim to ISIS. I kid you not.

“What’s happening is horrible,” Hilton tells Spanish newspaper Diario de Ibiza. “The recent attacks in Nice and Germany are terrible. It’s something that disgusts and worries me. I travel a lot and I get frightened when I think about things like this.

“I’m constantly moving around from one country to another and I’m a famous person who could be a definite target for an attack and that is something that sometimes terrifies me.”

However, the wealthy star will not let the terrorist threat force her to alter her party lifestyle, although she feels she has to remain vigilant at all times.

“I’m also a very free person who tries not to be afraid of anything,” she explains. “I just make sure I always watch my back. I always go out alone and without security.

She probably heard that Hilton hotel in Paris could be a terrorist target and misconstrued it. Worry not, Paris, Islamic terrorists have no form targeting celebrities, much less has-been celebrities. It does have a form threatening famous people – so far, thankfully, unsuccessfully – for example, Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg and Twitter’s Jack Dorsey, for shutting down jihadist propaganda, US Rep Keith Ellison and Clinton aide Huma Abedin, for the rejection of Muslim belief (as ISIS sees it), and a Victorian MP, for reasons unknown. So far no one has been threatened for making disappointing amateur porn or crap pop music. This would truly open floodgates.