Trump vs Hillary – your short foreign policy guide

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Foreign policy can be confusing. Political candidates’ foreign policy positions can be even more confusing. Confused? Fret not; here is your Daily Chrenk’s short guide to Donald Trump’s and Hillary Clinton’s takes on the top international hot button issues.

Russia

Hillary: Can be blackmailed by Putin

Trump: Doesn’t need to be blackmailed by Putin

Ukraine

Hillary: Reset. Reset. Reset. Damn it, Huma, what’s wrong with this button?

Trump: Russia has not invaded Ukraine. Manafort told me.

Allies

Trump: Have they paid?

Hillary: Have they paid the Clinton Foundation?

Nuclear weapons

Trump: Might use (the weapons)

Hillary: Might lose (the codes, like Bill)

Free trade

Trump: Rape

Hillary: What does the polling say?

ISIS

Hillary: Will stop arming

Trump: Will kill wives and children

Iraq and the Middle East

Hillary: Continue highly successful Obama Administration policies

Trump: Steal their oil

Libya

Hillary: What difference does it make?

Trump: We were better off with Qaddafi in power. But I would have authorised surgical strikes to remove him.

A more serious point:

If this were a blind test – if I didn’t know anything else about the candidates, and if I were only shown a list of their foreign policy positions, I would vote for Hillary, by a long mile. This is not a praise of her policies, which aren’t that great to start with, and judging by her past track record at the State she would make them even worse in office, but the recognition how terrible Trump’s isolationist, “little America” policies are.

As it is, I’m delighted I’m not an American and don’t have to make a decision in November. To me, and to many people I know and respect, this election is like an anti-Sophie’s choice: you want to kill both your children but you can kill only one.

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