The 7 most important discoveries I made about Holland in the first 24 hours


1.There is an abundance of very attractive blonde women. No offence to any Dutch readers but Holland does not have any particular international reputation for hot women the way some other countries do (including some Eastern European ones) – but it should. You guys really aren’t marketing yourself well enough to the world.

2. There are more bicycles than cars on the road, but there are no compulsory bike helmet laws, which means that Australia is more nanny than the uber-nanny state Europe. Also, you are far likelier to get run over by a bike than a car; they sneak up on you silently.

3. There are no overweight people. I have no idea what the locals are eating, but whatever it is seems to be much better for you than what the Anglosphere countries are consuming.

4. Virtually everyone speaks English with a light American or an Oxford English accent (i.e. better than most Americans and English).

5. The Germans call the Dutch “the swamp Germans”. The Dutch don’t find it funny.

6. The Dutch street is as multi-ethnic and multicultural as an average street in Australia or the United States. Europe has never been more United Colours of Benetton.

7. It takes a little while, for an Australian, to adjust to traffic on the right side. You need to reverse the order in which you look to your sides before crossing the road, but even that won’t stop you being killed by a bike (see point 2 above).