Can the presidential election get any worse?
Yes we can!
Sorry, wrong election, but the right sentiment.
I really could have done starting my weekend without listening to a 3-minute open-mic recording from 2005 in which Donald Trump chats with Billy Bush from â€œAccess Hollywoodâ€ while waiting to arrive on the set of â€œDays of Our Livesâ€ for a cameo appearance.
Some of the Trump Unplugged (actuallyâ€¦) highlights include:
I moved on her, and I failed. Iâ€™ll admit it.
I did try and f— her. She was married.
And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, â€˜Iâ€™ll show you where they have some nice furnitureâ€™.
I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldnâ€™t get there. And she was married. Â Then all of a sudden I see her, sheâ€™s now got the big phony tits and everything. Sheâ€™s totally changed her look.
Or the Billionaireâ€™s Guide to Seduction:
You know Iâ€™m automatically attracted to beautiful â€” I just start kissing them. Itâ€™s like a magnet. Just kiss. I donâ€™t even wait.
And when youâ€™re a star, they let you do it.Â You can do anything.
Grab them by the p****.Â You can do anything.
Young men, take note; hereâ€™s your incentive to do well at school and make something of yourself in life.
I guess we havenâ€™t really learned anything about Trump here that we didnâ€™t know before. The man is a sleaze and trash-talker. Heâ€™s also a poseur who likes to talk big to impress the little people around him. Like many successful alpha-males he is over-sexed and considers women to be perks of his position. In other words, he is a somewhat larger-than-life and more extravagant version of John F Kennedy and Bill Clinton, which makes him eminently suitable to be the President of the United States.
Just joking. Well, partly. Both JFK and Clinton were lucky to never get caught on tape. Kennedy was a serial philandered, Clinton was and is a sexual predator and a rapist according to numerous of his (alleged) victims. Heâ€™s certainly a major sleaze, the fact to which Trump alluded in his briefest of statements:
What this current leak has done is to neutralise Trumpâ€™s effective line of attack on Hillary â€œStand by your rapistâ€ Clinton. Then again, Trump has self-sabotaged himself numerous times over the past months without any consistent effect on his polling numbers.
Do normal people talk like that? Depends how you define â€œnormalâ€. I know many who do, and not just men, though mainly men. Some say much worse, and on a much wider range of topics. Most of it is said in tasteless jest and in posturing. Iâ€™m certainly happy that Iâ€™ve never been recorded with all the absolute rubbish Iâ€™ve said over the years. This is not to excuse Trump â€“ or me, or anyone else â€“ just state an unsavoury fact about life. Fortunately, though, I donâ€™t know anyone who translates these sorts of words into actions, but thatâ€™s probably because I donâ€™t hang out with walking testosterone bombs like Trump.
If you are shocked or surprised by this latest Trump tape, Iâ€™m shocked and surprised. If it makes you change your vote, it makes me wonder where have you been for the past year or so. We know by now that both the candidates are morally unfit for the highest office, so all this recording does is wastes another news cycle on old trivialities rather than talking about important things like the astronomical government debt, the busted American Dream, or rampaging Russia. No doubt the tape will make a guest appearance at the weekend debate, which will make the whole sad and sorry spectacle even more unedifying.
Please, somebody shoot me now.