MOSCOW, 25 DEGREES WITH A CHANCE OF SHOWER – C’mon 2017; you were going to be better. You promised; remember? So why do I wake up the second day running to read the endless stream (forgive me) of news and commentary about PEOTUS Trump and golden showers? Really, 2017?

I don’t know if the story is true, but personally I can’t help thinking that Trump, despite the denials, is quite proud of it and has got the video of the event, which will feature as part of┬áthe Inauguration Day screening of a “Road to White House” documentary, narrated by Rush Limbaugh and Jon Voight (“In 2013, Mr Trump went to Moscow and stayed at Ritz Carlton Hotel, which is not as good as his hotel, which is the best hotel in the world, really great, but it had to do on the trip. Staying in the Presidential Suite, Mr Trump auditioned local up-and-coming models and actresses for a future Miss Russia contest, also sharing with them his tips on winning success in business and entertainment. Before saying farewell to the young starlets, Mr Trump got them to urinate on the same bed where previously Mr and Mrs Obama had slept. This was a crucial moment in Mr Trump’s political journey; in fact, as he recalls today, this was the very moment when he first entertained the thought of running for President in order to do to President Obama’s legacy what Natasha, Olga, Katia and Oksana did to his bed.”)

Meanwhile, a fire broke out on the 13th floor of the now notorious Watergate residential complex in Washington, probably caused by attention deprivation and coverage envy. If you still need it, I have a suggestion who can put it out.