San Escobar offers Assange political asylum


America has “fake news”; Poland has got “fake countries”. And The Daily Chrenk has fake news about fake countries.

This is the biggest and funniest story to come out of Poland in a long time:

This week, Polish Foreign Minister Witold Waszczykowski was in New York to lobby for a seat on the U.N. Security Council from 2018 to 2019. His efforts were going well, Waszczykowski told reporters Tuesday. He had met with officials from nearly 20 countries, he said, including some Caribbean nations for the first time in Poland’s diplomatic history.

“For example, with countries such as Belize or San Escobar,” Poland’s senior diplomat added.

Of course there is no country called San Escobar. There is El Salvador (with its capital San Salvador), there are the Caribbean islands of St. Kitts and Nevis (or San Cristobal y Nieves in Spanish), and there is the dead cocaine legend Pablo Escobar. But there is no San Escobar. Or there was no San Escobar until now. Thanks to Waszczykowski (try not to spell or pronounce it unless you are a Scrabble champion), Twitter is now rich with San Escobar feeds, including the official one of República Popular Democrática de San Escobar. And they’re not happy:


A few years ago, we in Australia have experienced our government similarly campaigning for one of the rotating Security Council seats, hence for example Australian foreign aid projects popped up all over weird and wonderful (and distant) parts of the world – which all happened to have a vote in the matter. And yes, Australia did win that seat, so perhaps we shouldn’t laugh (too much) at Poland’s search for votes in this world and in alternate realities.

Personally, however, I see a great potential. We need a tiny country we can blame everything on, the way the United Nations blames Israel. For example, did you know that it was the San Escobarian intelligence service (his name is Pedro) who was the conduit for the “Trump dossier”?

P.S. Perhaps the Polish Foreign Minister was really thinking about San Sombrero.