tinder5

Boys Gone Wild on Tinder, Part II

Because here at the The Daily Chrenk we don’t want to be accused of discrimination, sexism and misogyny – we are, after all, equal opportunity mockers – and because we understand that a large percentage of our readership are women, we are proud to bring you the second installment of Boys Gone Wild on Tinder (Part 1 here), all thanks to a few of our single friends and readers who have braved the world of Tinder only so as to be able to forward us their best finds (that’s the mutually agreed story and we’re sticking to it).

If you are a female TDC reader, peruse the flower of the Australian manhood and rejoice that you are happily coupled up or, if single, vow never to go on Tinder, at least not unaccompanied. If you are a male TDC reader, take a break from fantasising about being single again and matching with any of our regular Girls Gone Wild on Brisbane Tinder (part 6 here), and take stock of what some of your competition would have been. Alternatively, like me, you can just cry.

16128847_10154398585296849_18764290_n_li

You do have to appreciate the juxtaposition of a romantic meme with the sexually explicit content. Because what woman would not want someone who is not only proud to have you, but will also take every risk just to keep you – oh, and finger blast you.

16176422_10154398595046849_1252360092_n_li

Sadly, the army doesn’t seem to give you a unique set of English language skills anymore. But it teaches you that the shortest way to a woman’s heart is by bouncing 50 cents off a bed, and posing with a rifle. The latter lesson has also been learned by our next gentlemen:

18685257_10156208034207571_1013166445_n_li

Why pose with one just long arm, when you can pose with eleven? Ladies, don’t crush one another in a rush. To the exit.

17554596_10154589185661849_638839397_n_li

You mean I can rent THESE EYEBROWS? No way!

17554823_10154589249801849_1049827433_n_li

I’m all for honesty in profiles, but perhaps taking off your glasses for your main picture is justified in some circumstances.

17857467_10156033501797571_919031034_n_li

And you can get lucky and become Mrs Lucky; just swipe right.

17965425_10154651306491849_42290800_n_li

Studies show that nothing increases your chances of a successful match more than posing with your children and sharing a happy life story.

18142945_10154675878971849_349758489_n_li18155465_10154675875666849_468858565_n_li

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, ladies, here’s your chance of a lifetime with a budding music mogul. Remember: make him laugh.

18685432_10156208033557571_1797450131_n_li

He might not have real guns (one hopes), but he has pride. Hug a hoodie.

18716631_10156208033752571_11789756_n_li

Also: an educated asshole.

18716706_10156208034577571_1353018419_n

Superheroes don’t exist. Neither do video stores. No wonder he’s not sure.

And when all else fails, you can make an ass out of yourself:

19141877_10156273361652571_1299739420_n

Keep ’em coming, ladies. We will shame them, but we won’t name them.

 

 

Comments

comments