THE CURSE OF HOTNESS – Over at news.com.au, a tearjerker for us all: “The downside of being an attractive woman: Jane Curnow believes being attractive is a curse. She’s lost friendships and hasn’t held on to a lasting relationship. She’s not alone.”
Jane Curnow is slim, blonde and beautiful. To an outsider, she physically has it all. For her personally, it’s been a long road to self-confidence. Along the way, she’s found that being attractive can be pretty ugly.
“After my second marriage ended, I entered the single scene and quickly realised just how much attention men were giving me,” she said. “I’d get constant looks and comments, and felt like men were undressing me with their eyes.
“Women were (and still are) jealous and resentful towards me but, at the time, I didn’t put it down to my looks and their own insecurities.”
While jealousy towards Ms Curnow became the norm, she never expected it to extend to her friends.
“I’ve lost many friends and always thought it was my fault,” she said. “I didn’t attribute it to my looks until my 30s, when so called friends walked out on me in bars because of the male attention I received.”
At the age of 32, and after years of suffering, Ms Curnow was diagnosed with depression.
By the age of 40 — still single and childless — she believed her life was over. It wasn’t until she recovered, that she realised how much her appearance had impacted on this mindset.
“On reflection, I realised the power of my appearance, but the resulting feelings were not of pride or happiness but of incredible pressure,” Ms Curnow said.
Depression is a terrible illness and so I feel very sorry for Ms Curnow, but I’m not convinced how accurately her experience is portrayed, and if it is, how representative it is. In general, people don’t hate you because you’re attractive but because you’re a bitch (or a bastard). Unless you have the misfortune to surround yourself with mainly insecure and jealous people, everyone else will react to how you react to them, how you treat them, and how you behave around them rather than what you look like. It’s easy to blame others or things you have no control over, but the answer to life’s problem very often lies at least partly within.