WHAT TO DO AFTER APOCALYPSE POSTPONED – 1. Kiss my lowed ones.

2. Call my friends.

3. Pray thanksgiving.

4. Walk outside and hug a stranger.

5. Nah, scrap all that, I’ll check out some porn:

Hawaii’s false alarm missile threat caused an almost unbearable amount of tension for residents – so much so that it sent some of them searching for relief in a rather risque place: a porn site.

Porn website Pornhub has revealed it saw a huge spike in traffic in the minutes after it was revealed the incoming ballistic missile warning had been a false alarm – with views in Hawaii coming in at nearly 50 per cent more than usual.

Unsurprisingly, this leap in numbers followed a dramatic decline, which took place after residents received the first text alert at 8.07am on Saturday 13 January, warning them that a ballistic missile was heading their way.

There has never been a better time to be alive and masturbate.

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