Where is Europe’s G-spot?

vilnius1

Important questions asked, important questions answered:

Lithuania’s capital is pressing ahead with controversial plans for a raunchy international advertising campaign that refers to the city as the “G-spot of Europe”, despite opposition from the church and central government.

Posters advertising the Baltic country’s capital, which are due to appear in Berlin and London from today, show a young woman lying on bed sheets printed with the map of Europe and clutching a handful of cloth where Vilnius is located.

“Nobody knows where it is, but when you find it, it’s amazing. Vilnius, the G-spot of Europe,” says the advertisement, which is aimed at portraying the city as the continent’s undiscovered treasure.

vilnius

You can visit the website here. If you were the one tasked with acquiring the domain name you could have been pretty sure it hasn’t been taken.

I consider myself a Vilniusian of sorts, since my mother’s mother and her family came from the district, when Wilno used to be a Polish city, the capital of the former Grand Duchy of Lithuania (up to the Second World War, Wilno/Vilna/Vilnius itself was ethnically over 50 per cent Polish, 30 per cent Jewish, and only 2 per cent Lithuanian). While I don’t hold any irredentist claims on the family properties confiscated by the Russians, who in turn gifted the city to the Lithuanian Socialist Soviet Republic as they too extinguished Lithuania’s independence, I would much love to visit Vilnius one day, G-spot or no G-spot, and see the city which has played such a big role in the Polish, Jewish (“Jerusalem of the north”) and Lithuanian histories.

While the role of Europe’s G-spot has now been officially taken, I think it’s reasonably obvious that Germany is nowadays Europe’s testicles, because if the squeeze ever comes, the whole continent will feel the pain. On the other hand, there is an almost unlimited list of contenders for Europe’s asshole.

P.S. It is rather amusing that one gets to Europe’s G-spot through the Suwalki Gap.

suwalkigap

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