…involves goats, of course. Also, a useful reminder that despite the politics working very hard the past few years to convince us, the rest of the world can still be just as surreal:
Hundreds of mountain goats are being given an airlift on their way out of a national park in the US state of Washington after developing a taste for human urine.
Rangers used tranquiliser darts and net guns to capture the animals from rocky ridges and slopes within the Olympic National Park, located about 160 kilometres west of Seattle.
The animals were blindfolded, put into specially made slings and airlifted to a staging area in the park. They were examined, collared with a tracking device, given fluids and then began a journey by truck and ferry to another area in the North Cascades.
The problem, according to the National Park Service (NPS), was that the goats were attracted to areas humans were frequenting due to the waste they had left behind.
“Mountain goats can be a nuisance along trails and around wilderness campsites where they persistently seek salt and minerals from human urine, packs, and sweat on clothing,” the NPS said.
The airlifted urine-addicts are the lucky goats: “A plan approved by park officials in June calls for about 375 goats to be moved to habitat in the North Cascades, where the animals are native. Park officials estimate between 275 and 325 goats that cannot be caught will eventually be shot and killed.”
This National Park War on Drugs is being carried out with Duterte-like ruthlessness. But while rightly concerned with the demand and the user side of the problem, why let the dealers off the hook? Visitors to the park who are observed urinating in the open should likewise be shot and killed by ranger patrols, or at the very least tranquillised, airlifted, examined, collared and deported in shame back to Seattle or to San Francisco, where urinating in public is much more acceptable and does not attract goats.