What’s your star sign? The Bull(s**t)


Those f***ing close-minded straight men and

[shuffles the deck, pulls out a card]

their disbelief in astrology:

Over the past two to three years, astrology has shifted from being a niche interest to a major point of enthusiasm for many women and queer people. Broadly, VICE’s channel geared towards women and the LGBTQ community, gets a huge amount of traffic from astrological features and horoscopes. Other media platforms for women have noticeably ramped up astrology content from filler to the forefront. In the UK, Google searches for “birth chart” doubled between November of 2013 and November of 2018. Since September of 2017, there’s been a steady increase in people searching “astrological compatibility”. All that interest has given publishing a boost: sales of mind, body and spirit books are booming; in 2017, sales rose by 13 percent in just a year.

In 2016, mental health was prime meme fodder; now, astrology memes are all over our timelines. Swipe through a dating app and you’ll soon find a woman who’s included their sign in emoji in their bio as shorthand for personality traits, likes and dislikes, and an indicator for compatibility.

But not everyone is onboard. Joe is not alone in his antipathy to the cosmological boom; straight men seem to be frequently apathetic or adverse to astrology. In a 2005 Gallup UK poll, just over twice as many women in the UK believed in astrology compared to men (30 percent to 14 percent of a data pool of 1,010 people). A 2017 study by Pew Research Centre found that 20 percent of adult men in the US believed in astrology, compared to 37 percent of women…
To understand your and others’ personalities, to try to predict the future: ultimately, it’s grasping for control, when we have none. Women and queer people are drawn to astrology because it offers community and refuge, something to lean on during a time in which religion has taken a backseat. In a heterosexual patriarchy, cis-het men arguably have less to seek refuge from. It is during times of significant stress that people turn to astrology, after all.
I guess it’s just my straight (and presumably white) male privilege that makes me dismissive of the belief that your personality and fate are determined by the movement of stars and planets across the sky. For the downtrodden, however, it’s apparently a coping mechanism. Somewhere down in hell, Karl Marx is weeping, and not because he has to spend the eternity being sodomised by the never-ending succession of sickle-wielding kulaks. Something something the opium for the masses.
Hannah Ewens continues: “Unsurprisingly, dating has provided a stage for tension. As women become more hooked on astrology, more straight men are being forced to engage with it. Most of the men I spoke to talked about astrology chat ruining dates, or ex-girlfriends who were “too obsessed” with the cosmos.”
And it’s only fair – if women can swipe left on the proverbial guys holding a fish, petting a sedated tiger, or standing in front of their bogan racing car, we can say no to women who announce straight away that they are Pisces and asking what our sign is.
Uranus is ascendant in your House of Love, which means a dark and mysterious stranger will briefly enter your life and then quickly depart it having learned about your fascination with pseudo-science.