You have all been very good regular readers of TDC recently, absorbing a lot of outrage, ridicule and cynicism emanating from these pages under the guise of impassioned political and cultural analysis. Good on you, and thanks for all the support. Now you deserve some reward, in the form that so many of you – both male and female – eagerly anticipate and ever so discreetly demand when it hasn’t been forthcoming for a while. Today being the special day that commercialises love and enriches florist, restaurateurs, chocolatiers and jewellers using the excuse of celebrating the life and the martyr’s death of a Christian saint who really had nothing to do with it all and is probably at the moment rolling his eyes in heaven, it provides an apt occasion to indulge all your voyeuristic, “grass-is-greener” instincts. So happy Valentine’s and enjoy once again the bumper display of the best of the south-east Queensland womanhood.
The great thing about Tinder is that it’s not just there to look for “The One”. You can also look for one. Or two. Or even three.
You can also look when you already have one – though clearly he’s not “The One”.
When you work out the appetite (that left and right swiping does burn up a lot of calories I’ll have you know), you can also look for someone to grab something to eat with. Whatever that is.
A wonderful thing about Tinder is that, as with the eating out, you can always find a fellow enthusiast, no matter what your interests are – photography, family, or engineering (by the way, her name is not Florence).
Fellatio – a story in three acts. Or as Ron Burgundy would say, that escalated quickly.
Another great thing about Tinder is how much of a reflection of our multicultural society it is. “We are one, but we are many, and from all the lands on Earth we come, to swipe with one hand…” Who says that immigration does not enrich our society? Stuff you, Pauline Hanson.
The Beatles famously claimed that “can’t buy me love”, but that’s not strictly true – sometimes it might be just a matter of a hug; other times all it takes is some fast food.
Just in case you are tempted to be judgmental about the socio-economic status, upbringing, education or general quality of the “girls gone wild” on Brisbane Tinder, I’m here to disabuse you from stereotypes. The world of internet dating might be sometimes hard (no pun intended) but there is often poetry, the love of puns, and bibliophilia.
But when it’s all said and done, some stereotypes are indeed correct.
But don’t let that scare you off from trying to find love online. In the meantime, I hope you have a happy St Valentine’s and a good dicking, sorry, I mean a great romantic dinner with some lovely roses and candlelight.
