Polish Jesus starts transmitting internet


Happy 101st birthday to modern Poland, which regained its independence (briefly) as a result of World War One, after over a century of being partitioned and colonised by Russia, Prussia and Austria-Hungary.

Speaking of Polish things, the statue of Christ the King of the Universe in Swiebodzin in western Poland is the largest statue of Jesus in the world, larger even than the famous Jesus from Rio (leading some Poles to jokingly call the their town Rio de Swiebodzinario). It stands on a 16.5 metre mound made of rubble, is 33 metres tall and wears a 3 metre high crown on its head. It was constructed nearly a decade ago from the donations of 21,000 local parishioners.


Like something out of “The Lord of the Rings”, isn’t it?

The last few days, however, the Polish media is abuzz with the discovery of internet relay antennas and equipment installed within the crown on Christ the King’s head.

The parish authorities refuse to comment, experts identify the equipment and the firm responsible for the installation privately acknowledges the hardware visible in aerial photos. It can’t be seen from the ground, which prompts one elderly pilgrim to call a journalist a “blasphemer” for suggesting the antennas up high.

Jesus’s head is the highest point in the area for miles and miles and the parish has to make money somehow, if only to maintain this big tourist attraction.

If you live in this district about half way between Poznan and Frankfurt an den Oder, it’s likely your internet comes through your Saviour. Which is particularly unfortunate if you’re surfing for porn.