Hurry up and die, you Tory scum


The old communists, if they didn’t like you, would simply kill you. The new woke left merely wishes you would die to make a way for a better, more caring and more tolerant society. I guess you can call it a moral progress of sorts. Or, perhaps, another example of Marx’s dictum about history repeating itself first as a tragedy and then as a farce.

Whether it’s Trump, Brexit or climate change, many on the enlightened left think the older people are the problem – and, by extension, their death (hopefully sooner rather than later) the solution to their worries. From Polly Toynbee back in January (“This Saturday Britain turns a remainer nation: more young remainers joined the electoral register, more old leavers died. A Final Say vote would stop the will of dead ruling over the will of the young”) through the depression diva Billie Ellish (“Hopefully the adults and the old people start listening to us [about climate change] so that we don’t all die. Old people are gonna die and don’t really care if we die, but we don’t wanna die yet”) to Georgia Rep Hank Johnson (“Donald Trump’s supporters are older, less educated, less prosperous, and they are dying early. Their lifespans are decreasing and many are dying from alcoholism, drug overdoses, liver disease or simply a broken heart caused by economic despair”), eat the old is all the rage. British pop star Jamelia thinks the over-75s shouldn’t be allowed to vote. The “Doctor Who” star Tom Baker agrees. And as the super-woke Cambridge academic Priyamvada “Please address me as Dr Gopal” Gopal tweets:

I find the view that all will be well in the future because the uncaring bigoted old people will soon be dead leaving the world to the young and the woke quite amusing because, as most leftie views, it’s based on the ignorance of math and logic. The hitch here is this: it sees the political demography as static – there is a fixed number of older fascists, which will be decreasing every year as they progressively shuffle off the mortal coil. But the number is not fixed; what the left seems to forget is that people tend to become more conservative as they grow older. What it means in practice is that at the same time as the old foggies die, the middle aged cohorts are becoming more foggy. I was reminded of this phenomenon when looking at some interesting statistical analysis of the British election results, particularly this graph:


There is indeed a huge age gap in voting, with the young people tilting very strongly to the left and the older to the right. But this is just a snapshot of an ongoing process, like a still frame from a motion picture. What that snapshot does not capture is the always-moving conveyor belt in the middle of the two age extremes, shifting people across the ideological spectrum.

Perhaps we are all born socialist but life makes us conservative. This, dear Millennials of today, means that we will never die out enough for you to inherit the Earth. Or, rather, by the time you do inherit the Earth, most of you will have also said goodbye to socialist idiocies of your youth and become us. Welcome to your nightmare – and you’re welcome.