Donald Trump: Making American Sex Great Again

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The stock market is up, unemployment is down, wages are rising, manufacturing jobs are returning. And now this:

A recent survey of 2,000 sexually active American adults asked respondents to recount their sexual experiences in 2019, and found that a significant portion (44%) had the best sex of their lives this year. Moreover, 47% said their sex life was far better in 2019 than it was in 2018.

Apparently, this past year was one of sexual experimentation for many Americans: one in six tried phone sex for the first time, and 29% used their first sex toy. In fact, according to the research, which was commissioned by Pure Romance, 38% of respondents became more adventurous sexually this past year. Another 20% had sex in a car for the first time, and one in six had their first experience with sexual roleplaying.

All in all, most Americans (79%) said they are happy with their sex lives.

While all of that is obviously beneficial from a purely physical perspective, the survey also revealed that being more adventurous in the bedroom can improve one’s relationship with their partner as well. Nearly half (48%) said they were able to communicate more openly with their partner this year about what works for them sexually, and 44% learned more about how to properly please their significant other.

After considering all of these results, perhaps it isn’t very surprising that 57% of respondents said their sexual skills have improved over the past 12 months. On that note, 52% have tried new positions as well. It’s also worth noting that a full quarter of respondents have absolutely no regrets about their sexual experiences this year.

Isn’t there anything that Donald Trump can’t do for the people of America? Neither the left’s “sex strikes” against the Republicans nor divorcing Republican spouses seem to have made any dent in the popular enthusiasm for quality bonking. This is what #winning looks like.

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