Girls Gone Wild On Brisbane Tinder, Part XV: The Birthday Edition

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Warning: Adult Content & Language

Not that we need any excuses to continue with new installments of the “Girls”, but the world is still in a lock-down and needs plenty more of good (or even bad) cheer before this is all over. In addition, it was my birthday earlier this week, and what better way to celebrate in isolation than with imaginary Tinder matches?

First off, people tell me: Chrenk, lay off those Millennial women; we know that Gen Y can be quite out there, very open and exuberant and all that, but you’re really helping to give them a bad rep. OK, no one actually tells me that, but if they did, here is my response: Firstly, of course #NotAllMillennials. Secondly, of course not all of them Millennials. You don’t have to be in your late teens (which technically would make you a Gen Z) or 20s to possess the qualities that will make you a part of TDC’s longest-running series, as these more age appropriate ladies clearly and unequivocally demonstrate:

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Here’s to all you hockey players out there. And here’s to all of you good conversationalists:

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Hopefully not while the kids are in the kitchen waiting for their dinner. Speaking of – more nutritious – food:

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Alas, “drama” and “harder” don’t really rhyme. How about “I don’t care about your drama / Just spank my ass and I’ll call you Obama”? You’re welcome.

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You know the saying, “it’s not the size of the wand, it’s the magicians who waves it”? Or “It’s not how big it is, it’s how you use it”? Well, not according to these ladies (and yes, we are back from the excursion into X and again into the more familiar Y/Z territory):

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My big surprise is that I went to school with your dad.

Joking! I have no idea who this “artist” is, just as I don’t know who this “aspiring singer” is either. The sample is small, granted, but are we seeing correlation or causation between the creative temperament and certain preferences?

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BBC indeed has a lot of great shows.

What?

Oh. OK.

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Who doesn’t love a big egg plant? Or a smooth cucumber? Maybe you can make a self-isolation salad.

Meanwhile, spare a thought for this young lady who is clearly hand-scrubbing a cruise ship to disinfect it for the future guests. Let’s #ClapForUnsung Heroes.

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Don’t worry, I’m thinking that spiders are likewise or even more scared. Meanwhile, a call to all my Haitian readers, if you can help this young lady in need:

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Fifty years ago, Edwin Starr sang “War (What is it good for)” – subsequently covered by everyone from the Temptations to Bruce Springsteen and Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Over the ages, many have been asking themselves the same question about breasts. If you are one of these people, the ladies below have some answers:

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And sometimes there is just no reason. “I might surprise you”? I don’t think there is anything more you can surprise me with, my dear lady.

Happy quarantine, everyone!

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