Warning: Adult content, language, and a picture of a naked bum
There’s no escaping the fact – 2020 has been a difficult year for many of us. It’s safe to say that from now on the term “2020 vision” will mean something else than clarity and sharpness.
It’s not surprising that the struggle is real in the world of online dating too. As the Beatles sang, “when you find yourself in times of trouble, all you need is love, rumpapumpapum”. Like the young lady below:
In 2020 that’s a challenge. The Colonel Sanders tattoo is a nice touch, though, marking as it does the drumstick. Let’s only hope that any hungry gentlemen who match will not encounter the eleven secret herbs and spices. Speaking of eating things:
Five children (bitch) can be considered a hardship in any year, not just 2020.
In a bad news year, bad news for most guys on Tinder – great many ladies, for some unknown reason (search me, it’s 2020) seem to only want a man called Richard. Lucky Richard; it’s good to be in high demand:
Sometimes being simply a Richard won’t do. It’s also a question whether, after searching your conscience, you can honestly say you are a good Richard:
Or a big Richard – perhaps a rugby player or a weight-lifter – who has a long-haired Caucasian friend (very particular, isn’t she?):
For all Richards out there, remember that when you send this lady your selfie, it has to be a full screen one, at least 13 centimeters (she also misspelled “exact”):
Here again we have a lady looking for a big Richard who is also uncut, which excludes sports like fencing or boxing:
Lastly, and perhaps most demanding, is a lady who wants Richard to piggy-back her. Fortunately she looks compact and not too heavy, so a big Richard should be able to cope without much sweat:
In a year of a COVID pandemic, let’s not forget that other illnesses and health problems are still around, even if the virus gest most of the attention. Teeth, for example, can trouble us at any age and any time:
Arguably, if you want to avoid a visit to the dentist, you should not try this at home:
And moving further, past the teeth:
If you by any chance find this lady’s gag reflex, please let me know and I’ll try to return it to her. In Duran Duran’s immortal lyrics of one of their best known hits “Reflex”: “Oh, why don’t you use it? / Try not to bruise it”. Wise advice. Particularly with a fist.
From the inside to the outside of the neck:
For others, another injury-inducing option:
And from the mouth all the way to the other, ahem, end:
Speaking of the end, in a year like this, sometimes there’s nothing left to do but let it all hang out:
Goodnight, sweet dreams, and until next time!
